Shakespeare: King of Salt, Snark, Sass, and Clapbacks

Shakespeare: King of Salt, Snark, Sass, and Clapbacks

April 23rd is always a weird day for me literature-wise because it's Shakespeare's birthday... and also his death day. It feels odd to say "Happy Birthday, Shakespeare! But sorry you couldn't enjoy that last one because you died. Better luck in the afterlife, bro." 

But one thing we can agree on is that Shakespeare had the saltiest insults of his day. He didn't mince words and if his characters didn't like somebody, they said so in no uncertain terms. His plays are full of snark, sass, and clapbacks. 

In addition to appreciating Shakespeare’s literary contributions, enthusiasts love the way his writing is full of snarky humor that the modern reader may sometimes miss if they aren’t reading carefully. In celebration of the legacy of Shakespeare, Invaluable created a generator that compiles 71 of his greatest insults. The tool allows you to filter the insults based on who you’d like to use them on! 

I've compiled some of my personal favorites and who I'd like to use them on. (muhahahaha!)

First up...

For that person whose mission in life is to annoy you at every available opportunity...

 [image description: infographic of a Shakespearean insult that says "thou art unfit for any place but hell."]

[image description: infographic of a Shakespearean insult that says "thou art unfit for any place but hell."]

 

For the guy on Twitter who likes to mansplain and the eye roll emoji just doesn't quite do the trick...

 [image description: infographic with a Shakespearean insult that says "Men from children nothing differ."]

[image description: infographic with a Shakespearean insult that says "Men from children nothing differ."]

 

When someone in your life needs to take a hike...

 [image description: an infographic with a Shakespearean insult that says "I do desire that we may be better strangers."]

[image description: an infographic with a Shakespearean insult that says "I do desire that we may be better strangers."]

 

When you're reeeeaaaallllyyy disgusted with someone...

 [image description: infographic with the Shakespearean insult: "Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood."]

[image description: infographic with the Shakespearean insult: "Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood."]

 

A playful insult for giving someone you love a hard time...

 [image description: an infographic with the Shakespearean insult: "Go, ye giddy goose."]

[image description: an infographic with the Shakespearean insult: "Go, ye giddy goose."]

 

For that person who just ain't that bright... 

 [image description: infographic with the Shakespearean insult: "They have a plentiful lack of wit."]

[image description: infographic with the Shakespearean insult: "They have a plentiful lack of wit."]

 

For that person whose really full of themselves... 

 [image description: infographic with the Shakespearean insult: "He is a gentleman that loves to hear himself talk, and will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month.]

[image description: infographic with the Shakespearean insult: "He is a gentleman that loves to hear himself talk, and will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month.]

 

For when you're really, REALLY mad at someone... 

 [image description: an infographic with the Shakespearean insult: "A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.]

[image description: an infographic with the Shakespearean insult: "A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.]

 

For when you get cat-called...

 [image description: an infographic of Shakespearean insult: "I am sick when I do look on thee."]

[image description: an infographic of Shakespearean insult: "I am sick when I do look on thee."]

 

For that person who's always asking you for advice that you know they're not going to take... 

 [image description: an infographic of the Shakespearean quote: "Thy sin's not accidental, but a trade."]

[image description: an infographic of the Shakespearean quote: "Thy sin's not accidental, but a trade."]

 

For that person who likes to tell tall tales and whose stories are always just a little over the top... 

 [image description: an infographic with the Shakespearean insult: "It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."]

[image description: an infographic with the Shakespearean insult: "It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."]

 

When you just want to be left alone... 

 [image description: an infographic with the Shakespearean insult: "Go away you three-inch fool!"

[image description: an infographic with the Shakespearean insult: "Go away you three-inch fool!"

 

There you have it! Do you have a favorite Shakespearean insult? Is there someone you'd like to use these on in your life? Tell me in the comments! 

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